Discussion:
Baby, a Troll's Outside
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"Jim Goulder"
2016-01-12 17:58:24 UTC
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-- forwarded message --
From: Lee Gold XP <***@ca.rr.com>
Newsgroups: rec.music.filk
Subject: suggestion from a friend
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 2015 22:46:02 -0800
Organization: A noiseless patient Spider
Injection-Date: Sat, 19 Dec 2015 06:44:02 -0000 (UTC)

Doc Cross (a roleplayer I know) suggested on Facebook

I was in a store when "Baby, It's Cold Outside" came on. Suddenly, I
wished for a filksong duet singing "Baby, It's Trolls Outside".

--Lee
-- end of forwarded message --




To: "Baby, It's Cold Outside" [Frank Loesser, 1944]

Watch "Margaret Whiting and Johnny Mercer - Baby Its Cold Outside" on
YouTube


Watch "Baby Its Cold Outside - Bing Crosby & Doris Day" on YouTube


Watch "Karaoke Baby, It's Cold Outside - Dean Martin *" on YouTube



VERSE

He really can't stay.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!
He won't go away.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!
He looks like a gnome.
It seems that he won't go home.
He's very crude.
Perhaps he only wants some food.
He's smelly and ugly as sin.
No way that he's coming in.
He's giving me a mischievous smile.
Looks like he'll be staying awhile.
He's gnarly but flashes that grin.
Look at all that leathery skin!
His face is now contorted with rage.
Dammit, he belongs in a cage!
But trolls like to hide.
Baby, what can we do?
He might get inside.
And what if he brings his crew?
He's bellowing now.
The sound of a mating cow.
His snout is green.
It's shape is really quite obscene.
I ought to say: "No, no, no, sir!"
"Don't you come any closer!"
At least someone can say that I tried.
I hope that won't be after you've died!
He really can't stay.
Keep on the lookout.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!

INTERLUDE

He simply must go.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!
Why is he so slow?
Damn, baby, that troll's outside!
He's looking at me.
His snaggly teeth are brown.
What does he see?
Spit sluices from his ugly frown.
His fingernails caked with soil.
My blood is beginning to boil.
His breath would make an elephant swoon.
Maybe he will bugger off soon.
Although he appears atrocious,
Is he really so ferocious?
If only he could just be ignored!
This is no Norwegian fjord!
He's rutting the lawn!
Yeah, baby, he's run amok!
I wish he were gone.
So, why have we got this luck?
I'm simply appalled.
At least the police were called.
He'll eat the cat.
How could he do a thing like that?
He's trampling on my bed of tulips.
Warts on his black and blue lips.
And stomping my poor mums all to heck.
Drooling on the patio deck.
He really can't stay.
Of that I have no doubt.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!
Lee Gold XP
2016-01-12 18:53:46 UTC
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Post by "Jim Goulder"
-- forwarded message --
Newsgroups: rec.music.filk
Doc Cross (a roleplayer I know) suggested on Facebook
I was in a store when "Baby, It's Cold Outside" came on. Suddenly, I
wished for a filksong duet singing "Baby, It's Trolls Outside".
--Lee
-- end of forwarded message --
To: "Baby, It's Cold Outside" [Frank Loesser, 1944]
Thanks.

--Lee
Kay Shapero
2016-01-13 07:25:01 UTC
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Post by "Jim Goulder"
To: "Baby, It's Cold Outside" [Frank Loesser, 1944]
VERSE
He really can't stay.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!
He won't go away.
Oh, baby, a troll's outside!
He looks like a gnome.
It seems that he won't go home.
He's very crude.
Perhaps he only wants some food.
He's smelly and ugly as sin.
No way that he's coming in.
Snerk!
--
Kay Shapero
FAQ at http://www.kayshapero.net/filkfaq.htm
Address munged, use kay at kayshapero extension as per website.
Spear Carrier
2016-11-22 16:29:43 UTC
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I just.. can see this in a musical. Without snow and ice, though. Just. A musical. On Broadway.
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